Some wedding-weary internet users spilled the tea about the most cringy (and tacky) things they’ve ever seen couples do at their celebrations, and the stories are pretty spicy. Check them out and take notes on what you want to steer clear of at your own wedding.
1. NASCAR Themed
“Long ago, I worked at a banquet hall and witnessed a fully NASCAR-themed wedding. During the reception, they played the audio of the proposal going out over the PA at the track. It was fully unintelligible”.
2. Please, Do Not Sing
“The singing-your-vows thing is never ever going to work out like you think it will. Never sing your vows. Never attempt to sing any part of your wedding. It will not go as you visualized it”.
3. Who’s Next?
“At my cousin’s wedding, they did the thing where the groom removes the bride’s garter and tosses it to all the single guys. I guess none of the guys wanted to be next to be married because once the groom tossed the garter, no one grabbed it. It just landed on the ground a few feet in front of a crowd of motionless guys. The groom tossed the garter 3 times before one guy halfheartedly picked it off the ground”.
4. She Clearly Said NO
“At a classmates’ wedding. There is apparently a caking tradition in some parts of the country, where when they cut the wedding cake, the couple feed each other a bit and smear each other’s faces with cake as a joke. The bride had absolutely made 1000% clear to the groom she did NOT want to be caked. He did it anyways, and not just a small smear, but full on smushed the slice in her face. They got divorced 2 years later”.
5. The Yoga Fan
“Bride shows up almost 2 hours late to her own wedding. She shows up and wants to get married in her yoga outfit. The groom shut it down, and when she refused to change her clothes, the groom decided to leave her looking stupid, and they never got married”.
6. The Roasting
“The groom gave a speech thanking everyone for coming that devolved in the space of about two minutes into a straight-up roast of his new brother-in-law. They were friends, and the brother-in-law seemed to take it in good humour. I was on the table with the elderly relatives from that side of the family, who were less than amused”.
7. A Red Flag Bride
“I wasn’t a guest, I was working the wedding. The bride got drunk and sat on some other dudes lap for two hours and flirted with him while the groom sat by himself at the head table with a defeated look on his face”.
8. Just Real Friends
“Invite all their Facebook friends and expect 700 people and like less than 100 show up”.
9. Main Character Energy
“Not the groom and bride’s fault. But the pastor marrying them, talked about his marriage and his kids for 20 minutes. He was obviously going for something of showing what marriage will be like”.
10. Apples EVERYWHERE
“They bought an apple orchard after leaving the city to live a simpler life…and really doubled down on the apple theme. Apples everywhere: on the tables, in baskets all around the venue, on the podium where they got married, pictures of apples hanging everywhere, small fake trees with apples tossed under them, the dude marrying them had an apple tie on, apples somehow incorporated into every dish for the reception”.
11. Baby, You’re A Firework!
“I’ve worked over 200 weddings at the same venue, many couples wanted fireworks and we had a company that could always do a show. The couple ALWAYS, without fail, would pick ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry to play during the show”.
12. Bonnie And Clyde
“The ceremony also was the “Name Reveal”. They changed their last name because they didn’t want to be stuck to their heritage and didn’t want anything to hold them back. Turns out they changed their name thinking they could erase their mountains of debt or at least hide from it. Turns out you can’t live under two legal identities”.
13. No Serenades, Please
“They began the wedding with the groom playing an out of tune guitar and singing to the bride. They were sitting on chairs in front of everyone, legit 400 people, and the bride was clearly uncomfortable which made everyone else uncomfortable”.
14. That Marriage Blew Up In the Air
“Bride takes three hours to appear. After the ceremony, she and her spouse go up in an air balloon. The marriage did not last a year”.
15. An Awkward Dance
“My cousin and his wife are SUPER religious and maybe the two most awkward people I’ve ever met. They did one of those fake-out first dances where it starts with a slow song and then transitions to a dance number with an upbeat song. Not only is that naturally cringe worthy, the upbeat song was 5 minutes long and they just kept repeating the same moves over and over for what felt like eternity”.
16. Wrong Priorities
“Flew away in a helicopter at the end, but there were only appetizers for food”.
17. Who’s This?
“Dated a girl in my 20s and went to her friend’s wedding in upstate New York. In the middle of the service, the minister’s cell phone rang, he answered, it was God, God wanted to talk to the groom, conversation lasted a couple minutes, then the ceremony continued”.
18. The National Anthem
“At the beginning of the reception, we all had to stand up and sing the national anthem. To be clear, this was in another country, and I’d never been to a wedding before, so I thought ‘ok, maybe this is just a tradition I’ve never heard of before here!’ Then, I told this to other people, and they were all like ‘no, that’s just really weird’ and I felt the same”.
19. That Is Not A Competition
“I know a guy who recently made his friends compete to be his best man. Most pretentious thing I have ever seen. Watching them grovel was so upsetting to me”.
20. The Pastor Was Out Of Place
“The minister (or pastor?) used to date the bride and gushed about how wonderful she was. Told the groom that if he ever died, he would not have to worry because he would take care of her. I was shell shocked. I so wished I could think of a reason to ask the couple for a copy of the video of their wedding but couldn’t quite find a legit one”.
21. Way Too Emotional
“When saying the vows I wrote, I got so damn emotional it all sounded like gibberish and when I turned to get the ring from my best man, he was bawling his eyes out and couldn’t find it. I can’t imagine how ppl in the audience felt”.
22. Actors Or Lovers?
“Not wedding but engagement ceremony. They reenacted a scene from an old romantic film, about two lovers in 1800s. In front of like 300 people”.
23. Cake War
“When I was at a wedding of my parent’s friends, the groom tried to throw a decently sized piece of cake at the bride who moved out of the way, the cake ended up hitting my 76 year old grandma. We all had a good laugh. But we were all cringing at the same time at the missed cake attempt”.
24. The Bollywood Wedding
“I was forced to sit there and had to watch the bride and groom take pictures in poses that were from bollywood movies, for 2 hours straight”.
25. Ross? Is That You?
“This was both the bride and grooms 4th marriages. To each other. They got married 4 times and divorced 3. They picked a dirty motorcycle bar”.
26. A Last Minute Change
“Groom changed who his ‘Best Man’ was and didn’t tell the original BM until the start of the ceremony”.
27. The Soft Drink Couple
“Went to a wedding for my cousin. It was both of their second time getting married, and they had only known each other for about 4 months. When they were getting married at the altar, the husband had a 6-pack of Dr Pepper, and the wife had a 6-pack of Mountain Dew. After the reading of the vows, the priest says, ‘You may now kiss the bride’. So, they kiss and then, immediately, hand each other one of their drinks and start to chug it”.
28. The Corny Video
“During the wedding of some friends of my wife, the groom stopped the party to put a corny video with their photos since the first time they met until then. It doesn’t sound that bad, but honestly it was the most ridiculous video with a totally out of place song, made worse by the fact that the bride was laughing mockingly and taking tequila shots with her friends”.
29. Prepare Your Speech
“My uncle not only brought up his daughter’s boyfriend in his speech but talked about their toxic relationship for a solid 5 minutes. I highly recommend preparing a speech before talking in front of a room full of people”.
30. Political Vows
“They made their vows political statements. I mean, it’s cool that you’re passionate about your political beliefs and standings, but to put them in your VOWS?”.
